I'll be the judge of that.

DOPE Digest vol. 31 – Fassbender, Vikander, Gerwig, Hardy, and more!

DOPE Digest is a weekly roundup of pop culture miscellany, with succinct analysis from our contributors.

 

The Light Between Two Oceans Trailer

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BK: Fassbender. Mustache. Vikander. Lighthouse. Babies-floating-weepily-to-shore. I mean, come on! This is cinematic gold!

This trailer pretty much made me cry, so I can only imagine the heartstrings the full movie will be pulling. I am psyched to see Michael Fassbender and Alicia Vikander acting together (and they are a couple too?! Damn, there’s some serious marketing potential. And talented baby potential.)  I think they will bring the necessary weight to a story that might otherwise be a little cheesy.

And lets not forget about Rachel Weisz! She can probably act them both under the table. Did you forget about The Mummy Returns?? I didn’t think so. This movie looks sick and I can’t wait. Screw the Oscars – I am getting in line for The Light Between Two Oceans on Sunday night.

Julia: I am reading this book right now!! At first glance it gives off serious “basic”/The Notebook vibes, which I was hesitant about (concerned about my reputation if I was seen reading it on the subway, if I’m honest), but so far it has exceeded my expectations. There is some dark stuff happening over there on the isle Janus. Isabel, lady, you need to step into reality!! I didn’t watch the trailer because I was scared of book spoiler alerts. But then, won’t the entire book be a movie spoiler alert for me?! A modern conundrum.

The Ring vs. The Grudge Trailer

BK: Yeah this trailer is in Japanese. And yeah, I don’t really understand what is going on or why it is happening.

BUT GUYS! GRUDGE vs. RING. Weird-Alien-Baby vs. Drippy-Girl-in-Well! This is what we have all been waiting for!

I personally love when horror titans collide; the winner is always nerds (isn’t it always). We are always looking for an excuse to talk about who actually has more power, and who would REALLY win in a fight. Freddie vs. Jason? Alien vs. Predator? Godzilla vs. Mothra?! The world needs to know.

(For the record the ‘real’ winners would be: Freddie, Predator, Godzilla, and I don’t know, probably that Grudge thing.)

Julia: Of the originals, I thought The Grudge was considerably more terrifying than The Ring. I also like the idea of “mash-ups” like this, though instead of “The Grudge vs. The Ring,” I would suggest a more accurate alternative title “The Grudge + The Ring Team Up And Everyone Else Loses Because They Are Scary, Part 1.”

Baauer (Ft. Pusha T & Future) – Kung Fu

BK: Baauer is best known for his viral song ‘Harlem Shake‘ which combined 2 parts random cultural appropriation and 3 parts internet ridiculousness into an unmissable and unreasonably watchable series of videos in 2012. Honestly, I just spent 12 minutes going through old versions and I will never get that time back. Ever.

Anyway, I figured that inexplicable hit would be the last we would hear of the Philadelphia native, but he’s released a new track featuring two of the best rappers of the moment, and I am shocked to say the song is pretty solid.

Future and Pusha T have complimentary styles, and Baauer doesn’t disappoint on the beat. This is a definite Friday jam and makes me curious to hear the rest of his album.

Maggie’s Plan Trailer

BK: I love everyone in this movie, and I will see the shit out of it.

Greta Gerwig deserves to be a Hollywood A-Lister, and we here at Syvology won’t rest until she is. Ethan Hawk has been the man of the moment since Boyhood, but he always brings a certain authenticity to his roles. Julianne Moore is a genius, and that’s all I will say about her. And Bill Hader and Maya Rudolph are generally hilarious.

Again, I will see the shit out of this movie, even though the trailer gives away the whole thing.

Julia: Greta Gerwig is so wonderful. She’s Diane Keaton with an alto voice and a Uniqlo-sponsored wardrobe! On a whim I saw Frances Ha in theaters by myself and it was a truly excellent experience.  And now that I think about it, I also saw Mistress America at the theater by myself. SO, see ya there for Maggie’s Plan, nobody! I can’t wait. This has been part two of Dope Digest: Baby Movie Edition.

TABOO Trailer 

BK: Tom Hardy (along with the aforementioned Fassbender) is the best actor in the business right now. Every movie he does is worth watching, if for no other reason than he is in it.

I was shocked that he would do a mini-series for FX, but the more I thought about it the more sense it made. Clive Owen, a recent megastar in his own right, is busying himself with Steven Soderbergh making one of the best shows on TV with The Knick. If he can do it, why can’t Hardy slip away and make what appears to be a completely brilliant mini-series for FX? I could not be more on board.

DOPE Throwback: TLC – Waterfalls 

Julia: I have a note on my phone from two years ago that just says “Melissa Ethridge wrote Waterfalls.” This trivia obviously surprised me enough that I needed to record it and carry it with me ever since, and I hope it does the same for you, friendly readers.

BK: Wait, wait. What?! That’s the craziest fact I have ever heard. Well played! Second fact: this song is 22 years old. Yikes.

Anywho…

I’ve always loved Left Eye (RIP), but at the end of the day it seems like you have to choose between whether you are a Chili or a T-Boz. And I will ride for T-Boz now and forever (on the internet). Those bangs? Those lady side-burns? That raspy voice?! She’s a one-of-a-kind. And apart from the epic dance moves, the beat, and the rap from Lisa, she’s the one I’ll always remember from this track.

That, and Melissa Ethridge, now.

Have a DOPE weekend. and Happy Friday.

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